Since I was 8-years-old, I can remember feeling insecure about my weight and body image. As I grew older, these insecurities grew into a constant plague of comparison. I was never smart enough, never thin enough, never athletic enough, and certainly, never pretty enough.
By 13, I believed to my core that if I were as thin as the women I saw in the Victoria Secret catalogues piled in my mom’s bathroom, I would be happy.
This belief turned into a ten-year struggle with anorexia and bulimia.
What I would later realize was that I had to reach rock bottom before I got better…a whole lot better.
A simple truth we all seem to forget at times.
For years, I’d go to great lengths to create an illusion of perfection. Ironically, I was always praised for my appearance and liked for my outgoing personality. But inside, I felt like a complete fraud.
I felt I could never fully believe what others said to be true because I never felt like I belonged in my own body. Poor self-image and lack of confidence clouded my vision and fogged my mind.
At 17, I stepped foot into my first yoga class. The shifts I experienced within my body and mind ignited a passion and curiosity about the healing arts, and I soon received my Level 1 Reiki. The following year, I graduated from Elegance Schools Inc., a private vocational college, and began a career in the aesthetics industry, all while dreaming of becoming a yoga teacher. But like many, I let fear hold me back.
By the time I was 21, feeling unmotivated in my mundane 9:5 job, my eating disorder escalated. I believed that if I packed my bags, left the country, and had a clean slate, all my problems would disappear. I moved to Australia. The only thing was my problems came with me.
As incredible as the year was, it brought on new challenges. My bulimia spiralled out of control – the more harm I inflicted on myself, the more distant I became with my spirituality…eventually losing touch completely.
When I returned home a year later, I sank into a deeper depression. Looking outside myself again, I moved to Toronto for renewed inspiration, but ultimately, it drove me to become more detached. Drifting away from friends, avoiding family, and making unhealthy lifestyle choices.
The older I got, my eating disorder worsened. I could no longer go on living like this. My body was starting to fail me. I was mentally and physically exhausted from the harm I was inflicting on myself. I needed help. I knew if I wanted a better life for myself, I had to make a choice.
Over time I grew to understand the importance of taking care of my body as a whole. A realization that we can only be our most beautiful selves when we are in our most healthy state – be it physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
I began to understand the power of choice, acceptance, and perspective. And through those years of work, I learned to settle into my body and connect with my breath, my spirit, my choices, and my energy.
Learning to acknowledge and separate how I feel is different from how I look.
Finally, I realized that when you start to honour yourself and truly feel beautiful on the inside because you accept yourself for who you are completely, your life naturally begins to come together in harmony. You start to lead the life you want for yourself. You begin to feel deserving and abundant. When you do the work to heal your wounds, you never want to do anything to your body or mind that would betray that again.
I returned to what had initially given me my only a sense of peace – yoga and the alternative healing arts. I practised regularly and consistently. It began to create clarity within my soul.
After receiving my yoga teacher training in 2017, I embarked on a Bali yoga retreat where I felt a sense of being wholly aligned and knew with certainty that this was my life’s purpose.
I have received my Reiki Level 1 (for the second time) Level 2, and Master Level from Kelsey J Patel. I am certified in the practise of Yin Yoga, certified in Mindfulness Meditation through the University of Toronto Continuing Studies program. I have attended countless workshops in Yoga Nidra, Restorative Yoga, Kundalini Yoga, and attended Gabriel Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Master Class.
I am a continuous student; always seeking new ways to self improve and learn.
Despite how difficult those isolating years were, I wouldn’t trade a single moment.
Why?
Because our struggles allow us to discover our highest potentials and pave the way for us to step into our power so we can live more authentically and aligned with our purpose.
For my entire life, I’ve been seeking to understand my truest self and how to become the best version of myself possible.
If you’re here, I’m guessing you feel a similar way.
Together, we can clear the physical, emotional, mental blocks within, to bring you peace, clarity, and inner strength.
I educate, as I serve, empowering my clients with information and guidance to live well.
I believe that our health, wellness and outer appearance are all inter-connected.
It all starts with a choice. A choice to show up and want the best life for you.